and he seems honest, and through the car drive we should be able to calm our nerves. My alarm o’clock is set for 5am and it’s nearly 8pm now, nearly time to hit the sheets and call it a day. CJ drove me up to ECU to pick up the badges&co, we drove to Macces and to his brothers afterwards, it was good to see him – even if it was only that short. I’m so tired already. I really don’t know how this will work out but hell it will be fun no matter what. I am doing something that a rarely do and that is taking a pre-packed sandwich with me! So rare. Oh and I actually phoned DJ today, his response “Since when do you call me?“, it was kinda funny to be reminded how bloody much I dislike phone calls. My white business shirt is ironed and my black suit is fluff free. I’m still a bit on the weird side, wearing sneakers and all to the competition and I really ask myself if I will be accepted? And if not, will I ever be accepted or is business also wrong for me because of the attire? I hope people aren’t as shallow as they sometimes seems. Oh and I did my nails. So, I’m off, need to grab that sleep and hope I don’t wake up at 2pm scared shitless. ;)

and in my other bag (bright pink) Hello Kitty toilet bag I keep my carry around make up. Food shopping done too. McDonald’s was eaten too. Laying on the couch watching the news with a hot water bottle and soon to make myself a bowl of Kellog’s cereal with liek a ton of sugar. I watched BBC Click and I must say I was a bit disappointed, sometimes they just aren’t that good. Let’s see what tonight brings.

How I do enjoy them.

The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words.

Philip K. Dick

How exciting ;)

for the business competition I am in – my Uni has gone out of their way to provide this to me!

And yeah, I rang her up to ask her if she’d get the gym membership forms faxed to her. ;)

which is for my standards quite a lot. I came back pretty out of it and Mum cooked me some dinner, we watched some recorded stuff together and my evening was quite good. I am ignoring texts, facebook and eMails (to some extent) a great deal, which is working quite fine as I have had enough of social website anyway *repeats* This morning I woke up and I renewed my flickr account (still being processed) and will after this post, plug in the eMac and find out it’s processor&co (selling it on Gumtree), scan in some postcards and get my butt to Lords to get a 3 month membership form (or should I ask Mum to ring up and get them to fax it to her? I might just do that – Yes, I am one lazy efftard). Did I mention that I deleted my MySpace? Yeah, I’m slowly disappearing from it all. Next one on the list is deviantArt. Then only this blog, OSC, Facebook, YouTube and Flickr remain which is perfectly satisfying. This blog makes me happy and why? Because no one knows about it! So good and the header has pink in it and it’s so simple and I love it. I do, I do.

I’m laying in bed still wondering – about everything. Can’t believe I am actually blogging (or is this only microblogging?) since two days ago again. If I treat it as a facebook ersatz I should be able to continue. My stomach is still churning. Awfully bored too, I think I should go out tomorrow. I feel that I should start becoming active again, creatively but oh well that’s a never ending story isn’t it? This kinda inspired me today.

I’m going to shower in a minute. Head is a bit mushy.

drank a milo and listening to Delinquent Habits while reading L.’s eMail, I’ll draft an email to a columnist some time today. I can’t believe how this has happened. Sickening world. My stomach is all sore – maybe the McDonald’s? I have no idea.

has allowed me to ease a bit. Hope I sleep well. T. London in my mind, on loop. Sleep well suckers!

My day has been – well – non productive really and I’m not even going to try to find an excuse. I can’t be bothered. And you know, why do people think I am at their disposable or just there when they are bored? GFU! I need no excuses. I’m full, I’m getting warm and I’m in my bed. What else could I possibly need? Haha. Mindless fucking entertainment smothering and numbing my brain, which is thinking non positive thoughts. Maybe I need some of this picture in my life? ;)

On the verge of getting another fix from him in form of a hamburger, the bastard.

this means I won’t have problems getting home on Tuesday night (or at least I will securely get home).

and it feels great. I feel awfully tired and don’t know if I want to do this competition anymore. My mind is clogged up pretty bad. I know why but whatever. I need to change the date here, it’s just showing the date but I want it to show the time and date. searches and activates it.

I’m so lazy.

Yeah, it seems like it never would have happened. But in my mind, it’s always happening. Regardless of when it will happen or where.

Why? Because then no one can “like” it or go on a rant and rave about something that doesn’t interest me. Those who read this know that I am interested in what you have to say but not in what the other x amount of facebook “friends” have to say.

the unknown factor. my body. I think I should have not read that medical literature last night concerning chondrosarcomas. My head is full of angst and uncertainty. I don’t want to die, not like that. Will that fear always accompany me? It will, who am I kidding. My life is juggled by my health, which likes to scare me. I love my body but why won’t it love me back?

Currently I am listening to – in no specific order,

Feathers from Kreideraub (not available)

Flying Overseas from Theophilus London

Drown Me Out (MELO-X Remix) from Jade<3

Global Corner Converssation from Sotu The Traveller

Return of the Tres from Delinquent Habits

Smile from Nat King Cole

Little Bit from Lykke Li feat Drake and Mickey Factz

Lets get it on from Marvin Gaye

Lovers On A Stroll from Rawls & Middlechild